I must have been just special to her but she was the world to me. Our bonding lasted for 48 years and 7 months. She left us so suddenly, without a word leaving a void so deep and painful, that it gets difficult day by day to live without her. She was not just my my mom,but my soulmate, my best friend, confidante, my trust, my hope and the most beautiful lady in the world.

Childhood days I hid behind her for she was my Rock of Gibraltar. I knew she would protect, save me, lead me and be my guiding star. I had blind faith in her. There were moments of learning, be it embroidery, knitting, crochet or cooking, she always taught me lovingly and with patience. She often said she has none but I have seen her being patient in the most stressful times.Whatever she did, it was meticulous and fine. She was a perfect 10 figure who excelled at so many skills. I remember it was class 5, I had my final exams and had to submit a knitted muffler which I had started but was unable to finish. It was a mere 3 inches and the need was for a length of 25 inches . Ammi ( as I lovingly calling her) sat up that whole night post-dinner to finish that for me lest I get marked F for “fail” for my Crafts class. Another instance was when I was 8 years old had nothing new to wear for Eid and as is customary to wear a new dress for Eid, Ammi somehow found time to go buy a beautiful baby pink satiny and shiny material, No,she was NOT a seamstress, but she just placed another of my suits , took measurements on that satin and stitched me a suit complete with the trousers.Her presence of mind was amazing and she always knew how to find solutions. I think she may have been up late doing it but yes that was Ammi, an altruist, selfless and giving. She never said NO for anything , but just ” We will get it done soon”. And “Soon” always happened sooner. We had a happy childhood where a 1-bhk apartment always made us bond more. We played marbles in our hall, carrom, ludo, Snakes and Ladders,Monopoly, Play on Words and Scrabble to name a few. Those were the days my friend. And yes that was the song she loved to sing as she remembered Mary Hopkins. We used to watch many TV programs together. Ammi loved to wash, dry the seeds of melons and then later sit eating them. I too caught up on this habit. In urdu I later termed it as ” bekaari ke mashghiley”- translating to job for the idle.

Ammi loved listening to old Hindi filmi songs…Old is Gold she would ridicule the music of today For her,today’s music has no tune and is so meaningless. She would always relate songs and movies to someone’s birthday or a wedding saying ” This movie was released that year…..on that day…” her long term memory was excellent. She was an encyclopedia where birth dates or wedding dates were concerned. Sometimes she remembered what she had worn then or who else got married then or whose baby came along that year. She always connected this and told us in the form of a story. I familiarized myself with so many people within our community due to ammi who knew relationships so well. Now I realize if we do not have that, it is baseless meeting people if you dont know you are related. Today when I want to know about someone, or ask, I cannot to anyone else and Ammi does not answer me anymore !!!

She loved reading and got me addicted to it too. She used to get loads of magazines every week, some film related, others like Womens’ Special editions, Housekeeping, Knitting etc. My dad would get Urdu magazines and I who had become a voracious reader by 10 grabbed hold of anything that gave me snippets, news and gossip. I read under the blanket, on the kitchen floor, under the dining table or in the washrooms. I kept my novels within my School text books and read too. Thank you Ammi I surely owe you this lovely habit and so much more.

I miss you each and every moment of every day Ammi. I love you so much.

I loved being with you Ammi