Love Bites

My first love was her, my ‘dearest mom’ who held me in her arms the first time and as I opened my eyes I cuddled into her bosom, cooed and felt loved like I never did by anyone else in this world. Love is a feeling of joy, happiness and the fact that you want to be close to that person you love.For me it was a beautiful relationship with my mom Rizwana Aqueel. I called her Ammi and we used to call each other 5-10 times a day just to ask silly things like ” How do you make the bhindi?” or ” How much gram flour goes in the curry? She would tell me: My dish does not turn out like yours and I would say: Ammi my dish is never as tasty as yours. She was my biggest critic and I was her biggest fan. I used to admire her ways of dressing up so immaculately. A little kohl in her eyes and a bright lipstick to highlight her fair face is all she would do but look ravishingly beautiful. Her curly black hair around her heart shaped face to her graceful walk her demure stature to her beautifully shaped hands, her poise to her smiling face, just incomparable to anyone. I told her she looked like Madhubala, but she would say her favorite is Meena Kumari, She would say I have her hands but I never saw them till now when I miss her so much and find her in me…bit by bit, she lives within me. During the landline telephone days, people calling for her would always mistake my voice for hers so I guess we had the same voice. But she would say, you sing better than me and I would say you speak better than me. Our little nok-jhok ( banter) was what kept our Love Story alive. My lovely ammi, I feel I appreciated you less, I loved you less, I missed you less, I cried for you less, but now I only miss each and every moment I lost not to tell you how much I love you. My World my fulcrum, my reason for being here is no more….My love and respect has gone multi-fold for a precious and unique person like you.Yes you were ” Nayaab” It means RARE and yes there is none like you at all. Where ever you are, Ammi I wish the best for you….I see you smiling in the clouds, I see this twinkling star each evening and I know you are looking back at me. I feel sometimes its a dream and I will wake up. No pinches to myself can bring you back…but I wish that I could revert back before 30th December 2019…..and hold on to those moments forever.